A Shattered Image In A Broken Mirror
by SameStoryDifferentSpin22
Summary: Buffy is gone.She left behind a baby girl.Sixteen years later,when Angel mysteriously has his humanity returned his quest to find out why leads him back to Buffy's 16 year old daughter and he gets his second chance in a way he never expected.


-1

Prologue

Angel stood outside the funeral home, his cold hands buried in his black pleather trench coat. He felt nothing. He watched as the people hurried inside and then hurried out again moments later dabbing at their eyes with tissues, handkerchiefs, even their own coat sleeves. He always knew she had been loved. He still loved her even now, knowing she was really gone. There would be no bargaining for her life this time. She had been taken by natural forces, like Willow's deceased girlfriend Tara so many years ago. Though , to him, extreme complications from child birth was hardly natural death. This wasn't his time, nowadays that kind of death was almost non-existent. So why her? Why take her life while she was giving life to another? Why?!

He stood there unable to move toward the door. He did not want to see her like that. Her silken blond hair laying over the casket pillow, her green eyes closed forever, her body as cold to the touch as his. But she wouldn't be waking up and crawling from her grave. Once the coffin was in the ground, he was never going to see her again.

"A..Angel?" Xander Harris's voice echoed from behind him.

"Xander…" Angel made no move to face the boy. Well, no longer a boy in the mortal sense of the word. Xander was well into his twenties now. But to him, a nearly three hundred year old vampire, Xander was little more than a child. After Angel Investigations and Wolfram & Hart had gone under, Angel had continued to keep the few scouts and spies that were alive on his payroll. He had followed everyone's lives, especially hers.

Stepping forward, Xander set a strong, but comforting hand on the vampire's shoulder. "We didn't expect to see you…" He trailed off. "Willow and Becca asked me if I thought you'd come…"

Angel turned his head to make eye contact with Xander. His normally gruff way of speaking to the other man changed for an instant. "Can I have some time with her alone?"

Xander patted the vampire's shoulder before removing the hand. "I'll let Willow and Dawn know. I don't think they'll mind."

Angel watched as Xander headed inside the building. Dawn. He hadn't thought about the little girl in years. The instant-sister that she had taken such care of, even dieing in the girl's place to save the world. Last he'd heard, Dawn had gone to college.

Finally ready, he walked inside the building. The guest book stared back at him, a pen laying beside it on the upright podium. With a shaking hand, he wrote his name and then moved into the room where her body was on display.

Willow Rosenberg looked up from her spot in the back of the room, standing with a shapely brunette, and smiled lightly. "Angel."

Angel moved to stand in front of the woman but said nothing. He did not know what to say anymore. "..Willow.."

It was Willow's companion who broke the silence. Becca Oakley turned blue eyes onto the man standing in front of her. "We've never met. I'm Becca." She extended her hand.

Angel shook the woman's hand politely but made no reply.

Becca shifted on her feet, thinking quickly. "Have you seen the baby? She's beautiful. Exactly like her mother. I'll bet she grows up to be just as adventurous and tough too."

Angel's expression shifted in his confusion. His voice was barely a whisper. "The child is a girl? My sources said it was a boy."

Neither Willow or Becca had a response to that, so the three stood in silence for a while longer each wondering why someone would say the baby was a male. Angel spoke, his eyes on the wall behind them. "Why isn't the father here?"

A familiar baritone voice that he hadn't heard in years answered the question as the speaker approached from the left, something in his arms. " Because he doesn't know he is a father." Rupert Giles studied the vampire with tired eyes. "Hello, Angel." For the moment, the old man's attention went to the baby he held as he cooed in a motherly way to her. "Buffy passed away before giving her a proper name. It was her wish that you take that honor." The man's eyes misted over as he thought about why he was here. "Buffy knew you would come. I think she knew she was going to die as well. She wrote you." He looked from Willow to Becca, "Would one of you mind holding her a moment?"

Willow gently took the baby girl into her arms, tracing the baby's little hands. "Hi there…"

Giles motioned for Angel to follow him away from the two women. The old man looked pained as he searched for exactly what to say and how to say it. At last, he just handed a white letter-sized envelope to the vampire and walked away.

Angel stared at the envelope a minute, deciding he would read the letter later. He had to see her first. He had to take a final look at his only real true love. His Girl. His Slayer. His Everything. His Buffy.

The open casket was at the other end of the room. Hundreds of flower arrangements were laid around it, each one boasting either a pair of costume vampire fangs or a stick sharpened like a stake. It looked like every person she had ever helped had sent their regards for her passing. Tucked inside each arrangement was a little white card stating whom the flowers were from and saying any personal sentiments the person wished to express. The casket itself was blue with what looked like doves painted onto the edge panels and embroidered into the fabric portion of the open lid. The phrase GOING HOME accompanied the embroidered doves.

Buffy Anne Summers laid in the casket, her stiff arms positioned over her chest. Her hair was longer than Angel remembered, and he noticed the slight bulge at her abdomen, evidence of a very recent pregnancy. He curled his hand, tenderly running a knuckle over her cold cheek in the same loving way he always had when he'd watched her sleep. He lowered his lips to hers, kissing her softly a final time. "…Buffy.." His voice was hoarse and raw as he fought back the tears. He was determined to be strong for a little while longer. He took her in, memorizing ever detail, with his tear-clouded vision. She was still beautiful. She was still the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. She always would be. In his heart, Buffy was irreplaceably constant.

"Angel…" A hesitant young girl's hoarse voice broke into his thoughts. Dawn Summers smiled gently at him when he turned her way. "…. We've never actually met. I'm Dawn. Key-turned-Buffy's sister."

Angel moved back from the casket. "I've seen your picture before. You look like Joyce." He appraised the young woman to see if she looked anything like Buffy. She did have a similar build, but that was all.

Dawn nodded. "I can't believe she's gone. Again." Her gaze went to the casket, lingering on the lifeless body of her older sister. "I keep thinking Buffy'll come back. Like last time…"

Angel wordlessly laid a comforting hand on Dawn's shoulder. "It was natural causes."

"I know… Willow already explained…" Dawn sighed, stepping up to the edge of the open casket. When she turned around to tell Angel something, he was gone.

Hours after walking back to his temporary residence, Angel sat on the small, black leather couch inside his rented basement apartment. The still unopened envelope laid on the coffee table before him. She'd written his name on the front with her distinct flourish of pen strokes and he ran his finger over the path of the ink for the twentieth time in the last ten minutes. He picked the envelope up, leaning back into the couch cushions. With an uncharacteristic gulp of apprehension, he began to read:

_Angel,_

_I have so much to say and hardly the strength to say it. I have been debating the issue to tell you everything for months now. I know we talk from time to time, but with our history… I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable. God. Would you listen to me? All over the cryptic. I'm probably making you terrified, huh? _

_Angel, I'm going to have a baby. I'm pregnant. I haven't told anyone yet though. I don't remember sleeping with anyone uhmm human recently. I've had two months to go over everything in my head. I have no idea who the father is, or how I even got this way. I do remember a party for work.. I went alone, but I woke up the next morning in a hotel room. _

_It doesn't matter how I got this way. The reality is, I'm going to be a mother. I'm scared. I've faced all kinds of baddies, vamps, zombies, computer-human hybrids, mystical evils. But I had faith in victory, in my skills, in my friends and allies. I'm going to screw this up. I know it. _

Suddenly, the color of the ink changed, the handwriting seeming more strained, like it hurt the author to make the words appear on the page.

_I forgot about this letter for awhile. Just found it last night. I wish you were here with me. I want to hold you hand, hear your voice. The doctor says I'm supposed to be in labor, but there are problems. My body is refusing to release the baby. I didn't even know that was possible.. _

_I don't think I'm going to make it, Angel. I wanted to say goodbye. Of all the people in this world, vampire or not, you mean the most to me. I couldn't remember if I ever told you that. I want you to watch over the baby ok. They said it would be a girl. I want her to grow up good, with you watching out for her, just like you watched out for me. If I don't make it, I'd like you to name her too. I'm not asking for you to be like her father, just be there in the shadows of her life. Help her if she needs it. And when she has kids, watch over them too. _

_Corny I know. But there's really no one else who could do this. You were my guardian Angel. Be hers too. Watch over each generation if you want. They'd be lucky to have someone like you playing watchdog… ya know.. In the noble sense…_

_You remember the time we talked about the future right after I split Caleb in two? I told you I was cookie dough or something, right? Consider me cookies now. I'm done… in every sense of the word.. _

_I told myself I wouldn't say it, but I want to. I love you, Angel. _

_Always Your Girl,_

_Buffy_

When he read the way she'd closed the letter, the tears came fast. He barely had time to place the letter on the coffee table before he lost his mind in a torrent of sorrow and anger. He cried for hours, thinking about Buffy, about her daughter-still unnamed, and about his loss. Never before, as long as he could remember, had Angel wanted to be human again as badly as he wanted it right then. But Buffy had given him a task, a task she believed only he could perform.

Angel crossed the room to the phone. Who was he supposed to call? Months back, Buffy had sent him everyone's new telephone number so he already knew how to contact them. He didn't know which one to contact. After a moment of deliberation, he dialed the number Buffy had given him to reach Giles.

The ex-librarian, ex-Watcher picked up the phone halfway through the first ring. He sounded like he had been crying himself. "Hello? Rupert Giles here."

Angel inhaled air like he was taking a deep breath. "Giles. It's Angel. Name the baby Lilly."

On the other end, Giles nodded. "I decided I'm going to raise her. You are welcome to visit us whenever you want."

"Thanks." Angel replied then hung up the receiver. He knew he would do just that, ghosting in and out of the little girl's life just like had done for her mother. For now though, he just wanted to dream about Buffy.

Conjuring an image from the infamous day that only he could remember, he could see her dozing peacefully in his bed. She was on her stomach, an arm hanging over the edge of the mattress. She always looked amazing when she was sleeping. It was his favorite sight in the world.

Angel kept the memory alive as he undressed and got into bed, drifting into a calm slumber as the memory shifted into a very detailed, very realistic, very inviting dream. For the first time in a long while, he fell asleep with a smile curling his lips.


End file.
